Archives for category: Movies

Supergirl

I will admit that today was my first time seeing this movie. I got it on DVD from the library and even though this movie came out 30 years ago, I wanted to give my thoughts on it.

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Right off the bat I have to wonder about Supergirl’s outfit. I mean I know that her costume is based on Superman’s, but that’s the thing, she’s never seen his costume before. So how would she know what it looks like in order to make hers similar to his costume? I guess it’s just a minor complaint and I can overlook it. Speaking of clothes, does Supergirl have clothes changing powers? In every other scene she’s changing her clothes just by flying or walking behind something. I have to admit that she’s never done that in any comic I’ve ever read.

When she gets to Earth, it looks like she is flying in front of stock footage from the archives of National Geographic. It’s really bad, and you can tell that it’s fake right away.

Another thing I wonder about, why does Selena need this orb thing anyway? I’m serious, she seems to have all her magic powers without even using the thing. I admit it does seem like it LOOKS cool and powerful, but she seems to already be powerful without it. I don’t know, maybe it’s an ego thing.

Moving along, after she gets out of the Phantom Zone and the floor is collapsing under her feet, why doesn’t she just fly up into the air? Did she forget she could fly? Well eventually she does defeat Selena and she frees her friends. And she asks them to not tell anyone she was here. Why!?! She doesn’t have any enemies on Earth no one knows who she is, and no one can hurt them because they know her. Also Lucy tells her that she’ll tell everyone that Linda had to go. But again I ask, Why!?! No one knew who she was anyways! Who is going to miss her?

And finally I have to ask, why does Selena want this Ethan guy so bad anyway? I mean he’s just one guy and he’s not even that good looking. Plus when she finally does get him under her spell, she doesn’t even seem to want him there. She smacks him around, orders him about and doesn’t even really look at him. So why did she want him in the first place? Did she just want him because Supergirl had him? I’m guessing that’s probably why.

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All in all, the movie is pretty campy by today’s standards, and the story is kinda lame, but I will admit that I liked seeing a female super hero. It was probably good when it first came out, but it does not age well.

2 Stars

I loved the original Paranormal Activity, and the sequel was good as well.  The third one was kinda scary and it also helped to give a little more back story to what was going on with the whole demon and witch coven thing.

This movie however was just lame.  It kinda had things that the other films had it them, with the whole “Night X,” and then the date and it had a few creepy things happening.

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But the jump scares, oh lord the jump scares.  A cat jumping into frame to scare me is not scary.  A girl flopping on her bed to scare me is not scary.  A mom opening the garage door and carrying in groceries is not scary.  A basketball bouncing down the stairs?  Just stupid.  And the thing with the kid riding around on his big wheel just reminded me I could be watching The Shining instead of this thing.

Plus an internet reviewer pointed something out to me that I didn’t even think of.  Why was Katie taken to the hospital in the first place?  We never find out.  Also, when she came back she looked fine.  She didn’t have a place on her arm where they could have put an IV in, she didn’t look lethargic from anesthetics, she didn’t have a hospital ID bracelet on, etc.  So what the heck was she doing at the hospital?  Some clarity would be nice.

Also, the movie is pretty much one big commercial for Apple products and the Xbox Kinect.  Because EVERYONE in this movie has an Apple laptop, or an iPhone, and we are shown people playing Kinect and those weird tracking dots from the Kinect are shown EVERY friggin’ night!

Another thing that bothered me was the fact that these parents have to be the dumbest parents on the planet!  When clearly supernatural activity it shown, they completely ignore it.  It’s almost like they stick their fingers in their ears, closer their eyes and go, “LA LA LA LA LA, I can’t hear you!”  I mean you have to actively TRY in order to be this oblivious to things.

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I will admit that the extended version of the film is good and I really enjoyed the extra little tidbits that it had to show us.

Honestly it feels like they just made this film as an afterthought or an attempt to cash in on the franchise.  It doesn’t really add anything to the Paranormal Activity storyline or give us anymore background on what’s happening.  This film should never have been made and they should have just have left the series with three films.

2 Stars

I am so sick and tired of works of fiction using hunting down Nazi war criminals as a plot point.  That war ended 68 years ago!!!  Any surviving criminals would be at LEAST in their 80’s or dead of old age!!!  What are you gonna do to them?  Take these geriatric, senile, decrepit, old guys into a UN court room and have put them on trial when the only eye witnesses to the crimes are ALSO in there 80’s or more than likely DEAD?  Plus they’re so old that you can’t put them in a prison into the general population, they need round the clock medical supervision.  All that you could really do to them is try to make them pay reparations, that is if they don’t die halfway through the trial.  Or put them under house arrest, which won’t matter, they can’t go anywhere anyways!

 

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Okay so our main character Lena tracks down this Nazi war criminal who is so old that he’s in a wheelchair, is covered in age spots, has so many cataracts that he’s practically blind.  Yes, quite a threatening antagonist for her to hunt down isn’t he?

 

So she starts torturing him by snapping his fingers and he screams out in pain, and NOBODY hears him yelling out.  So is everyone who works at this retirement home deaf?  Then she finds some “secret” documents that are in his desk drawer.  They can’t be too secret, because that’s a pretty crappy hiding place.  Then she demands to know why the Nazi war criminal is funding some guy’s research.  What research?  There was nothing there to indicate any research at all!  All she found was a map and some guy’s driver’s license, there was nothing on those documents mentioning any kind of research!  So he did she jump to the conclusion that there was some kind of research going on and this guy is funding it?

 

Moving on we find out that Lena is looking for some Nazi guy named Klausner, so she can kill him and then she feels that justice will be done.  Then she teams up with this physicist guy and they go into an active warzone to go find a Nazi superweapon.  Yes, I’m sure that the U.N. just lets people waltz into active warzones  and just pass right by their military checkpoints because the person said, “Oh we’re journalists,” yet they show not one piece of ID to back this up.

 

Later they run into the Nazi zombies, but instead of actually biting or clawing their victims, these zombies just club their victims to death.  Plus the zombies are wearing Nazi uniforms from the 1940’s and they are perfectly preserved.  No rips, tears, no mud, no blood, nothing.  They are in perfect condition even though they’ve been sitting on rotting corpses for almost 70 years.

 

Anyway, our two main characters meet up with a U.N. taskforce who is going in to disable the Nazi super weapon that is keeping the zombies invulnerable.  I won’t bore you with the boring parts where the movie tries to give our military red shirts some kind of character development before they are killed.  Eventually they find the weapon and Lena takes the “core” of the weapon out.  Which by the way has some scientist dangling over it like the queen alien was in AVP, only he’s apparently also a Sith Lord because he can also shoot purple lightning out of his fingers.

 

Eventually our physicist guy steals the weapon, betrays Lena and takes it to the Klausener and tries to sell it to him for like 50 million bucks or something.  Lena then calls him and tells him that he is now on her “list” and she is going to hunt him down.  What exactly is she going to do?  She could barely handle a senile, wheelchair-bound, geriatric guy.  Plus when they were in combat all she did was run away.  I’m not really sure what this little girl playing secret agent is going to do to the physicist.  I mean I see she now has a gun but I doubt she even knows how to use it.

 

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This movie was just stupid!  The plot is dumb, the characters are uninteresting, and the ending was just lame!  If you’re looking for some zombie action, don’t waste your time your money!

1 Star