This is a review that I posted on Amazon.com back in January 2012 of a book called “A Zombie Apocalypse” by Keith Adam Luethke.  This book was really really terrible!  I am posting this to show you my readers that I will utterly trash a book when it is really really bad and deserves to be trashed.  Enjoy!

I love zombie books. I really REALLY do. Even ones that really suck usually have at least one or two redeeming qualities that make them worth sitting through. But honestly this book is just horrible! Just HORRIBLE!!!

This book just REEKS of self-published. There’s no logos anywhere, there was obviously no editor for this abomination, and the cherry on top of this steaming pile of book is the fact that there are NO PAGE NUMBERS!!!

Seriously! The author didn’t think those were necessary? Sure it’s written in the format of a person’s diary but come on!!! I love being able to point out what page something is on, so when I loan a book to a friend I can say, “Oh you gotta check out what happens on page XX” or, “If you wanna get to the good parts, just start reading on page XX.” But I can’t do that. Plus, if you wanna put page numbers on a document it’s really easy. Seriously I can do it in Microsoft Word in about 15 seconds, so why didn’t the author do this?

Also every other page has grammatical and spelling errors on it. No spell check, proof reader or editor I take it? That really irks me when I am reading a book, I’m reading along and you’re deep in the story and you get to a part in the book where there’s one vital word missing. And it just yanks you out of the story and you have to re-read the sentence a few times to figure out what the author meant to say.

The best part of the book was the cover. Seriously, the cover looks pretty good! A 20 something year old zombie girl dragging a stuffed pink elephant down a deserted road is a good image. It invokes all kind of questions in the reader’s mind. Who is she? Where is she going? Why is she dragging that stuffed animal with her? Where did she get it? What did it mean to her when she was alive?

But all those awesome questions that you wanna know the answer to, are quickly forgotten when you start reading this “book.”
Normally I point out what page things I don’t like are on, but with this I can’t, so I’m going to go with what day the entries are made in the journal instead.

***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS***

Nov 15th Evening

Okay so our main character is looking outside of her barricaded house and she “Counted 34 of them milling around my neighbor.” You mean your neighbor is just standing outside and letting the zombies mill around them? I think you mean, “Milling around my neighborHOOD.

The character then states that she doesn’t like the dark cuz, “I’ve always pictured things moving in it.” You mean things don’t move around during the day time? Just at night?

“I’ll wait until the sun to come out.” Seriously, that’s a line of dialogue in this book. I think you mean, “I’ll wait for the sun to come out.” Or “I’ll wait until the sun comes out.”

Also, why isn’t “good-bye” hyphenated?

Nov 16th Afternoon

“There was a pool blood on the floor.” Do you mean, “There was a pool OF blood on the floor?”

Nov 17th Afternoon

Since when do you go apple picking at an orchid? I think you mean you were going to go apple picking at an orchard.

Plus if you’re going to set out on your own, on foot during a zombie apocalypse, why would you take fireworks with you? Seriously, what purpose are they going to serve? When are you EVER going to use those during a zombie apocalypse?

Why is the word “Highway” capitalized in the middle of a sentence? I can understand that you’d capitalize it if you were talking about a specific highway, but to just capitalize the word in the middle of a sentence makes no sense.

“I am tired from me trek.” Ummm, I think you mean, “I am tired from MY trek.”

Nov 19th Afternoon

“Then strapping on my shoulder.” What the hell? That’s not even a complete sentence! I can’t even think of a time where you’d say that sentence! I can understand if you were strapping something like a rifle or a shotgun to your shoulder you’d say that, but this sentence is just out of place.

“Trying to starve off the guilty feeling.” I think you mean, “Trying to STAVE off the guilty feeling.” If that’s not bad enough, the author misuses this phrase ALL THROUGH THE BOOK!!!

You know what, screw it, I’m done with this piece of garbage! I don’t want to remember any more of this piece of trash! Just imagine about 45 more pages of this crap and you’ll get an idea of what this “book” is like.

***END SPOILERS*** ***END SPOILERS*** ***END SPOILERS***

This book is 70 pages long for $6.25 USD. I paid like $4.00 USD in shipping and handling and about $2.00 in taxes. That’s a total of like $12.00 USD and some change that I wasted. I spent about 45 minutes reading this waste of paper. I want my time AND my money back!

Seriously! Who told the author this was a good book!?! This is more like a creative writing project that an 8th grader turned in to his/her English teacher and got a D- on!

Don’t waste your time OR your money!

Advertisements